I’ll let you in on a little secret: God designed us to do hard things. And not necessarily do them well or with an ounce of beauty. Our futile attempts usually look anything but Instagram-worthy. Messy. Even ugly. However, it’s in those ultra-weak moments that His strength intervenes and His glory best shines through.
As moms we must be real with ourselves and with our thoughts. We must constantly question our motives and weigh them against Scripture. We must allow ourselves to experience mom guilt.
Yes, I said it.
Of course, self care is important. Of course, alone time is important. Of course, date nights are important. However these things should never become an idol causing us to abandon our current, Biblical responsibilities.
Moms, this may seem harsh and it may seem condemning or even unfair but it must be asked. Have you shaped your life around your Biblical responsibilities of being a mother and wife or have you shaped your Biblical responsibilities around your life?
I am fully aware that each of our situations look very different from one another. And no one can or should accuse each other of making the wrong choices. I also know that, as believers, we are called to help and encourage each other toward godliness. And few things break my heart as much as witnessing godly roles being abandoned by women everywhere and, perhaps, even worse, godly roles being devalued within the Christian community.
I have been in many situations where I clearly needed a break. And sometimes God has granted me that privilege and sometimes He said “not yet.” In Job 23:10 we are reminded, “But he knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold.” The problem, for many, with this stance is that is requires patience and perseverance and steadfastness. Boy are those attributes I often lack!
Rest assured moms, there are going to be moments when God blesses you with a break. A friend who offers to take your kids for the afternoon; A time when your husband takes the kids for a walk so you can get a nap; A sitter who comes once a month to watch your kids so you and your husband can share a quiet dinner. But those moments may not always be possible, consistent or part of God’s right-now plan.
It is not wise to fall into the “I deserve” camp especially when your desires cause some abdication of your Biblical responsibilities.
The unchanging fact is that we only have so many hours in this life to carry out His work. If majority of our week is spent away from our children, we need to be extra protective of our time together. The same is true for marriage. If the majority of our week is spent away from our spouse, we need to be extra protective of our time together. And we do not always “need” the break that we think we need. And yet sometimes we do.
So, it’s a very fine line, you see.
I end with the rhetorical question– moms, what do you need a break from? Some of these needs are so real– a crying infant who just won’t sleep, a household of sick kids. And other perceived needs, if I am going to speak for myself and be real with you– a quiet house, a clean house, a dinner date– they may not be as truly necessary for survival.
The good news is that God knows. He knows what’s best and He is a loving, caring Father who wants to give us the desires of our hearts so long as they are good for us. And when they are not good for us, He will answer with a “no” or “not now” or “wait”. And, moms, that is going to have to be okay.
Keep seeking Him. Keep communing with Him in prayer. And live a life submersed in His Word so that your mind is full and clear and able to rightly handle these ever-occurring tiring situations of life. Never losing sight that this life is short and temporary, stressful and joyful yet beautiful.